Excerpt from the Big Six Contract

You know who you shoulda married?” They were sprawled comfortably on the living room couch, their legs intertwined on the ottoman, and his arms were wrapped around her. A movie was on, but it was what he liked to call a ‘chick flick,’ so he chose this moment as the perfect time for him to talk because she was quiet.

“That tall white guy – what’s his name…the guy who was pissed off at me at your birthday party that year when you were so drunk at Dave and Buster’s.”

“Ohhh, Jayden!!” She recalled fondly with a smile. “Honey, that was years ago, like during the time we were straight outta college.”

“Yah, but that’s the kinda guy you want. You should’ve been true to yourself and just married him instead.”

Eunice scrunched her eyebrows and looked at her husband curiously. Even after he gained twenty-something pounds since their wedding day five years ago, he was still irresistibly handsome with his sharp chin, his perfectly symmetrical nose, and those sexy brown bedroom eyes with unbelievably long eyelashes. She wanted to just straddle him right then and there and attack him with kisses. And more. Everywhere. Instead she attacked him with words.

“What the hell’s the matter with you? Where did that come from!? I AM being true to myself! I married you!” Her chest tightened and she could feel her heart beating so fast. Her heart felt like it was coming out of her throat. Deep breathing techniques where are you when I need you most? In with your nose, out with your mouth. Breathe in, breathe out with your nose, in with your mouth. Relax, she said, just forget what he said. He’s just talking smack, she thought. But she couldn’t. Forget the meditation technique. It’s just for sissies. Whatever.

“Okay, here we go again!”

She took the DVD remote and searched for the PAUSE button, threw it hard on the floor and it smashed to pieces. This was not unusual behavior for either one of them during a heated argument. They knew they could get psycho with each other, which is probably part of their unhealthy attraction towards one another. Breathing heavily, she positioned herself carefully to face her husband before returning to the conversation.

“You know, this is a rare moment for us. It’s a quiet Sunday afternoon, just the two of us, while the kids are out shopping with your mom. No distractions. Do you really have to bring up some random relationship issue from the past right this very moment? Jayden was not even a boyfriend. He was an old college buddy. We lived in the same dorm. That’s it.”

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. Eunice reached for what was left of the remote to continue the movie when he replied, “It came from what you said yesterday. Do you not even remember everything you told me while you were in tears, crying and hysterical? And don’t blame it on your period. It had nothing to do with your period.”