Top of the Class: 5 Rules that Show How Weight Management is Similar to Classroom Management and Motherhood

At one point in our motherhood lives, we've all questioned whether we made the right decision to stay at home for our kids or go to work. Endless conversations among friends and families about which is the better choice, which moms work the hardest, which supermoms keep their kitchen floors spotless, which moms wear those elastic waistband yoga pants and pretend they're work pants or pajama pants, and of course, the perpetual guilt about how our choices affect our children's lives.

I don't want to talk about that anymore. Stay at home moms, you're awesome! Working moms, you're awesome! I've felt guilty enough for everything related to motherhood that I'm done with those feelings. It's a waste of time.

I do want to talk about the life lessons I've learned from the job I've signed up for once I became a mother to Devyn many years ago. I've learned more from teaching than anywhere else. So much more. I've learned a lot about management.

"I don't know how you do it," is usually a phrase mothers tell each other. The real secret, though, is we already know how we do it. We MANAGE. And we manage well if we're able to get up every morning to do it over and over again. Mothers manage. Mothers manage multiple things at the same time. It's in our nature. It's also in our nature to question ourselves. Are we doing it right? The answer is: Yes, you are.

At a teacher training last week, I met a beautiful, young first-time teacher. We happened to strike up a conversation about weight loss, so we hit it off immediately. Yesterday she sent me a message that made me chuckle because it felt like we were already old friends:

"Oooh, Pia, I suck! I totally cheated on my diet this weekend."

She told me she had something delicious that was off plan, and explained to me that it used to be her favorite. Now it just made her sick and completely frustrated. Plus, two days of cheating added 4 lbs. to her weight gain. And on the same message she wrote:

"What should I expect in the classroom? What about discipline?"

Oh, girl......where do I begin? There's always something unexpected in the classroom. There's always something I can do better with classroom discipline.  There's always going to be temptation in the break room where someone is offering you a slice of pizza or taking orders for homemade tamales when all you really want to do is make 42 copies of your summative assessment. No amount of training can prepare any new or seasoned teacher for the stuff that happens in action. It's an amazing hot mess - just like motherhood.

My recent obsession in getting acquainted with my new school while maintaining my goal weight has taught me so much about management that I think I can add this skill in my resume now! I've worked too hard with my transformation to let go of myself due to stress eating. It's hard, but manageable. I often get frustrated, cry like a little brat, and get CRAY CRAY, but it's still manageable with the right amount of support. I've come to realize that my weight management rules are so similar to my own classroom management.

1. GOAL SETTING: We need to write down our goals everyday. We have objectives that we need to meet, and our students need to be aware of them so that they know what's expected of them. Same thing with weight management. Write down your goal for the day and be specific. Today my goal is to stay awake and make it to dance class. I think I can. I think I can.

2. UNDERSTAND CHOICES AND CONSEQUENCES: If you eat that slice of pizza for lunch, then understand that you already spent 200 calories for that one slice. It takes me about 15 (or maybe 30) veeery slow minutes on the elliptical to burn off 200 calories. If I don't burn it off with cardio, then I just might not be able to button my shorts. Is it worth it? Choices and consequences - you tell your kids that the choices they make affect consequences. Same for your body. I tell myself this over and over again when I find myself eating a whole bar of chocolates and then being unable to close the button on my jeans without producing a muffin top. I have to accept! I have a muffin top, but I also had a whole bar of Hershey's in one sitting. If you eat candy before dinner, then you'll be full and have to pretend that you're finishing your plate and sitting still at the dinner table. So fine, I accept! I will change! Choices and consequences, kids. If you choose this, then that will happen. Accept or change. If you're still frustrated, ask for help.

3. PLAN AHEAD: You're required to write weekly lesson plans so you and your appraiser know that you're meeting your objectives. It's part of your job. Do it for yourself. Write your meal and workout plans and check them off as you go. Be your own accountability partner.

4. TRACK PROGRESS/ACTIVITY: Just as you keep a notebook to remind yourself what you need to do in the classroom everyday, keep another one to remind yourself what you've eaten and what you've done for exercise daily. Write down improvements and setbacks. You'll soon notice a pattern in the behavior, and you'll be better equipped when you anticipate those changes.

5.  BREAK YOUR OWN RULES: It's okay if you break a rule. Forgive yourself. Forgive your students. Seriously, you won't have to go to detention. If you or your kids break any of these rules, go back to Rule #2, but be kind to them and to yourself. Be understanding. You'll do better next time. Why? Because you've been able to manage by creating a safe learning environment in your world that you can learn from failing.

So I wish you success, dear Beautiful,Young First-Time Teacher! Just as you've managed to raise your babies, you'll manage your classroom and your weight all at the same time. You're already doing it. I wish you a very accomplished school year. Don't hesitate to write to me because I'll also need your support as I go through the same thing. I'll be making choices again. I'll be suffering through consequences. I'll be making mistakes. But I'll be learning with you and the kids.

Motherhood: Messing it Up With the Money Talk

After a decade of stepmotherhood to a son, age 15, and 8 years of motherhood to a daughter, I'm pretty sure I'm still messing it up. I'm pretty proud of them, though, in spite of the stuff I've messed up along the way, they're doing just fine.

Sometimes, there are things that come out of my mouth in front of my kids and I think, "Did I really just say that to them?" It happened yesterday. I'm a little embarrassed.

I had a conversation with my little girl about super powers. It started off the same way I would start my young writers' workshop classes: an open-ended question type of writing prompt that would allow them the opportunity to expand their thinking process without any restrictions. So I asked her, "If you could have any super power, what would it be?"

Her answer was simple yet profound, just as I would expect it to be from an incoming 3rd grader. "I want to understand the language of animals and translate it to humans."

She explained the logistics to me, saying that she alone would be able to read captions in the air when animals made sounds, which would then be formed into words that only she could see. She would then translate their language into ours so that humans and animals would have a better understanding of each other. I was satisfied with the answer and expected to move the conversation along to another topic if she wasn't already bored with talking to me. She took it a step further, though, and asked me what I would want if I could have any super power.

Without even batting an eyelash, I knew exactly what I wanted: "I would like for my thoughts to be manifested into reality."

A pause. "What?" She asked.

I clarified. "Well, let's say I wanted a mango shake. There's no mango in the house, and we have to get the blender out of the shelf. I'm too lazy to go to the store and buy mangoes only to come home and make it. But if I had that super power, all I'd have to do is to think about a mango shake, and ta-da, it's there! I can drink it!"

I was pretty optimistic that it was a really cool thing. I could think of a bunch of stuff I'd want! "Let's say I want to be at the beach instead of sitting here on the couch. I'll just think of Boracay or Florida, and poof! There I am!"

She wasn't satisfied with my answer. She came up with various scenarios in which I would encounter problems surrounding my super power. She said, "What if your power only lasted for a day and you had wished yourself into a far away place? How will you bring yourself back?"

Then I revealed something in my response that could have possibly marked the first time she became skeptical of her mother's opinions. I saw it in her eyes. I couldn't take it back. I said, "Well, if I only had the super power for one day, I'd make sure I would think of having a ridiculous amount of cash and turn it into reality so that I can have money in my possession. Money can get you out of most situations, except of course, death."

What the hell?!? Did I really just say that? The look on her face confirmed it. Much to my pleasant surprise (Thank you, God) she respectfully used her words and her independence to have a very thoughtful debate with me. "No, Mom, that's not true. Money can't get you out of greed. Having that much money can make you greedy."

Long pause. How do I respond to that? How can I teach her that there is a fine line between using money to benefit your life and other people's lives, and being addicted to the power that comes with it? How do I tell her that in this world, opportunities come so much more often when you have the money? Is that even true? Am I the one who has misplaced values about money? Too many questions. I had to be mom.

As a mother, I needed to understand her thought process. She is very strong minded. She is a decision maker. She is confident. I know I don't want to mess THAT part up. I also know she is still developing her youthful idealism. Her values. Her moral choices. She is defending the values she has been taught to the very person who taught her in the first place. That very person is now contradicting herself.

I then reassured her that her mother wasn't greedy. I told her that I wouldn't really wish for a "ridiculous amount of cash," but maybe a "very comfortable amount of cash so that we could sort out any issues and still have plenty left over to live a good life and help others."

She agreed that it was a "normal" desire to wish for that and clarified in her own way of expressing herself that there was a difference between a normal desire to have enough money to live comfortably vs. just desiring all the money in this world and keeping it to yourself while the others do not have any.

Whew. Good save, but then she asked, "How much money would be normal for you to want, Mom?"
Oh for the love! I don't know the answer!!! Stop asking me questions. I will never do writing prompts with her again.

It was a good question, though. I'm curious to know what other people's responses would be. "How much money do you want to make you stop wanting more?"