You Are Putty in a Storyteller's Hands

ROLLERBLADING IN THE KITCHEN OR TELLING STORIES IN THE LIVING ROOM
For most of my adolescent life, my mother owned and operated a daycare center in our home. It was always loud, messy, and crazy, but those were some of my fondest memories. She converted our garage into a playroom, our backyard into a playground, and our living room into what she called "the classroom." It was the perfect business for mom. She got to stay home and get paid to do what she did best: raising kids. The parents who signed up for her babysitting services adored her, and many of them quickly became family friends. They even got special perks when they picked up their children - homemade Filipino food.

Business was booming, but she was already reaching maximum capacity to run a home-based child care center. During the summer, I had to help her out. While she was busy changing dirty diapers or feeding the babies, I took care of the older ones. "Lucky" for me, the older ones were a group of five boys with ages ranging from 6 to 8 years old. I was 13 or 14 years old at the time, so I couldn't just drive them to the movies to sit them down quietly somewhere. I had to get creative. Rollerblading in the kitchen? That worked for about five minutes until everyone started falling down on purpose and mom had to cook her endless supply of lumpia and pancit. Splashing around the water sprinklers? Fun, but only for a limited time.

So I told them stories in the living room. Much to my mom's relief, I kept the boys out of harm's way and entertained them at the same time. I didn't always like kids, but I sure did love the power of captivating an audience. We were a match made in heaven. There were certain stipulations from this relationship, though. These boys wanted original stories. I couldn't simply just read to them.  They were bored with books because as they proudly declared, "I know how to read them by myself."

They refused to listen to my version of fairy tales or folk tales because "they're too babyish," and they "already know what happens next anyway." So by popular demand, I had to make up stories right there on the spot. The scarier, the better. The grosser, the better.

That was the year she told me, "You'd make a great teacher someday." She knew it 15 years before I ever stepped foot in my first classroom.

"No, Mom, I'm not patient with them. They're so annoying. And besides, I like to write."

I had different plans. I was going to move to NYC to become a writer/editor/boss of Sassy magazine like Jane. I spent my time making magazine mock-ups with friends, getting to know the voices of the writers, and making up stories for the "It Happened to Me" column that never really happened to me. I wrote stories. That's what I've always done.

STORYTELLING ISN'T JUST A PARTY TRICK!
Fast-forward two decades and one career change later, I'm a teacher.

But the storyteller in me didn't die. In fact, it created an entrepreneur in me. With the creative development of my husband, my stories became books, which came equipped with videos, voice-over narration, a virtual teacher with tutorials, and original songs to boot. When I taught elementary school, storytelling was still my favorite party trick!

I didn't realize, however, that it was more than just a party trick until I came across Jonathan Gottschall's article from Fast Company. It explained that for over twenty years, psychologists have been seriously studying how stories affect the human mind. "Fiction," it stated, "seems to be more effective at changing beliefs than writing that is specifically designed to persuade through argument and evidence."

In other words, we are putty in a storyteller's hands. Oh, I see now! I...have...the...power!!!!

WE ARE NOT IN THE BOOK-SELLING BUSINESS
This is why the most savvy marketing professionals know that storytelling is what gets even the most capable business executives suckered into their products, ideas, or whatever they're selling.

I have mixed feelings about the theory of using storytelling in business and marketing. On one hand, it's pretty encouraging for an entrepreneur like me to have a story or two to tell to inspire others. On the other hand, I feel that many think the stories themselves are the products, or worse, the advertisement. They're not.

Stories, whether they are fact or fiction, stem from ingenuity. Stories are crafted with power. With emotion. With characters that live within the hearts and minds of the teller and the audience. Mix those ingredients with business - it can get explosive. 

For example, when people first learn that I'm an author, I'm very careful about responding to their questions. I often get asked two questions.

The first is,  "Who is your publisher?" and the next one is, "How many books have you sold?"

Business owners want to do the math in their heads to get an idea on how much revenue I've generated and whether they'd want to invest in my next project. If it's anything less than what they had in mind, they think it's a waste of time. Amateur writers want the hook-up on how to get their own books published and distributed without doing their own leg work.

Time and again, I've had to say, "We're not in the book-selling business." Then they get confused because they're missing the whole story. 

WHY ASKING WOMEN OF THE WORLD WHAT THEY THOUGHT OF ANGELINA JOLIE WAS IMPORTANT

Yesterday, along with millions of other active Facebook users, I posted a mundane status update. "Women of the world," I beckoned. "I have something very important to ask you: Do you like Angelina Jolie? Why or why not?"

And leave it to my awesome circle of friends willing to take the time to humor me, I got more than a dozen responses. Some said, "No, I don't like her. She's a home wrecker."

Others said, "Yes, I like her. She's a humanitarian, a talented actress, and a knockout!"

One chimed in to remind us of Jolie's shady past. "I never got over her kissing her brother."

Then the comic relief rolled in when one woman wrote, "No I don't like her. I don't need a reason to feel the way I do because...'Murica."

More insights came from another comment-poster who bluntly wrote, "I see some of her movies, but that's the extent of my thoughts toward her. Roald Dahl was a disgusting pervert, but we still buy his books. The art world is a fickle place."

I was thrown off by one comment because I didn't expect my post to be taken seriously. She wrote, "I mean this not disrespectfully but as my honest answer: this is not important."

Of course it wasn't important! Now I know why people have implored developers to develop a sarcasm font. I cleared that up for her, and I'm pretty sure she was relieved to know that I am, in fact, right in the head.

Then I thought about it some more and asked myself, "Why in the world would I post something so stupid like that?"

No, it's not because...'Murica. 

IT TAKES A VILLAGE
The real reason is that I wanted to know how other women view an American woman who is perceived to hold both power and beauty at her fingertips. My nine year-old daughter Zoe, standing on the cusp of adolescence, is in a period of major transition in social and cognitive development. So when she watches a movie like Angelina Jolie's Maleficent, you better believe I'm going to want to find out everything about it. I'm going to need to know if the actress is conveying the right message for little girls like Zoe.

I also need to know what my other women friends, whether they are stay at home moms with multiple children, professional working mothers, married women without children, or single women with no children think about it because I value their opinions. It's a similar concept to: "It takes a village." Like all mothers with daughters, I want mine to grow up armed with self-confidence, ready to take on the world. I want to know from other women how they think we can make that happen. I know full well that I can't shield Zoe from all the dangers in this world, especially the dangers of media, but I'm going to find out as much as I can about it. I'm going to ask questions to my dear Women of the World, "What do you think of Angelina?" Is her dangerous sexuality a cautionary tale for young women? Or is she the embodiment of the modern female?

Actually, Naomi Wolf wrote an essay attempting to answer my very questions in a 2009 Harper's Bazaar issue. But maybe a movie is just a movie, and an actress is just an actress. We don't need an "ego ideal" to aspire to empowerment and liberation. She's human, just like us. That's fine and everything, but I still have a daughter to raise. I need to do it right in a world where everything seems to go wrong.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO RAISE A STRONG GIRL?
As parents, we spend a lot of time thinking of ways to empower our children, making sure they know how to handle themselves in difficult situations. I know I spend a good deal of time thinking about what I might say to teach Zoe when she needs to bounce back from inevitable setbacks and learn from her mistakes. I know how to plan for conversations like these because I've been a teacher for ten years. Having taught elementary schools for the better part of my career and transitioning into teaching middle school, I've got a good perspective on girls dealing with the confusing blend of new social pressures and mixed signals from society about what it means to be a "strong girl." So as a seasoned teacher, parenting should come easy for me, right?

Riiiight.

JUST FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS AND WATCH A VIDEO
Because we can totally just follow the curriculum map on parenting. We can collaborate with a group of expert parents and have professional development meetings to exchange ideas on how to get our kids to do amazing things, like be a Kid President. Then afterwards, we can Google "raising your little girl" and apply all the 10, 25, 30 tips from every mommy blog on the Internet. We can all get together in the conference room to watch the awesome social media campaign video about how girls really run and then throw our kids the iPad to tell them to watch and learn. (Insert html sarcasm font here).

THEN TAKE A NAP
After all of that hard work, we can go home and explain to our daughters nicely, "Sweetie, Mommy has a headache right now, so I'm going to need a nap."
And when we wake up from our blissful, uninterrupted sleep, we will awaken from smiling faces happily reporting to us that they've finished reading a few chapters from their summer reading projects, wrote a few dialectical journal entries, sewed some pillows and handbags, and opened up an Etsy store to support a group of poor girls who live in a village in the Philippines - all while we were napping!

Because that's what happened to me.

Well, not really. I mean, yes, I've woken up from a few naps to happily discover that Zoe had taught herself to sew adorable little toss pillows  with clever design details. She was busy for quite some time and happy to leave me alone. How did I get her to do that? Did we restrict her TV and game privileges? No. Did we have a set schedule for her during the summer? No. Did we make her take a sewing class so that we can operate a sweatshop? HAHA. Yup.

No, we didn't. We do not own a sweatshop, people, come on! No sarcasm here. I'm telling you the truth.

But that little girl developed an undeniable entrepreneurial spirit. She's relentless with her projects and people (other than her family members) are starting to notice. 

WHEN YOU WAKE UP, LEARN HOW TO SHUT UP
I'm going to tell you a secret about how you can get your daughter to be independently productive while simultaneously developing self-confidence. All it takes is for you to...

Shut up. Just shut up.

No, I'm serious. Sometimes, we just need to shut down our "parenting mode" for a little while to quiet our minds, quiet ourselves, and know when to shut up and listen. 

SUDDENLY, SO BEAUTIFULLY, AMAZING THINGS HAPPEN
Stop talking, stop hovering, stop planning, stop scheduling, stop stressing, stop lecturing, and start watching her. Really watch. When we watch and observe our children, we can listen to what they're talking about and hear their voices. And when we hear them, amazing things happen. Real conversations begin. Ideas are born. Creativity happens, and then work becomes play.

And suddenly, so beautifully, she's learning authentically and doing amazing things you don't even know how to do. But she needs you there to assure her it's okay to mess up because you don't know how to do it, either, and you'll be there to watch her figure it out. Trial and error. Then repeat the process without pressuring her to deliver results. 

That little piece of "shut up" advice that I just gave you - it's the real deal. It's not always going to be easy to follow when you have to find that balance of authority. Let me clarify that I am in no way suggesting that you give up total control and just let your kids do whatever they want all day long and remain silent. Don't remain silent when they're turning the oven on and shoving their plastic bats and half-eaten hot dogs wrapped in aluminum foil in there to conduct a science experiment. That's not the time to watch what happens next. No, not at all.

To "shut up" is to let her figure out new things without being too overbearing with your unsolicited advice. Provide a safe environment for her to be messy without feeling stressed out for spilling a bottle of blue dye on the carpet or knocking down one of your Precious Moments figurines off the shelf. If she's made it past five years old safe and sound, then you're doing well. She knows your boundaries and expectations. Give her some wiggle room, and let her do it herself. Even better, if she has a great daddy who has no qualms about helping his daughter learn how to crochet after playing baseball with her, then by all means, do "shut up" and plan your getaway. Leave them be and watch what happens. It will melt your heart. 

SHOPPING AT TARGET DOESN'T ALWAYS NEED A LESSON PLAN
I've caught myself trying too hard to find the right opportunities during my day-to-day experiences with Zoe where I can find teachable moments to guide her through life. I still struggle with the "shut up" advice because I still plan, schedule, talk, lecture, hover, stress, and think way too hard about how I should raise a strong, smart, brave girl. What I'm missing is that she's effortlessly Zoe. She doesn't have to be any adjective I wish for her to be or whatever society thinks our future generation should be. So when I tell myself to "shut up," I'm really just reminding myself to allow Zoe to be comfortable in her own skin. No pretense. Just let Zoe be. 

A big part of Zoe's life is having a teacher as her mother who can't seem to shut down her teacher and parent modes. Naturally, when we take a trip to Target for a rare "treat yo'self" occasion, dammit, we are going to have a lesson on math word problems and practical choices!

"Zoe, would you rather have the Poppytalk fold up cloth checkerboard game for $12, or the neon blue kinetic sand that looks like the one we saw from Brookstone at Northpark for $14?"

"I want the Poppytalk fold up cloth checkerboard! Look, it has DIY crafts tutorials in her website!!!" she said excitedly, already dreaming about her own line of DIY products.

Yay! She chose the more educational item!!! I gotta pat myself on the back for that one. Wait, really?

Did I really think I was empowering her by shopping at Target? Maybe. I learned that not everything needs to be a teachable moment. Just like in my classroom, there are times when I need to throw my lesson plans out the window to allow my students the freedom to learn. In raising my little girl, it's not so much about the carefully constructed act of raising her, but simply the act of being there with her. It's about being present to witness her growth, and to allow myself to experience the way she sees the world through her eyes. And man, when I do that, the world is full of goodness and possibilities. What a gift!

Which brings me back to how hours later, I'm still thinking about Angelina Jolie. There's an article I saw that says Maleficent fails children.

GASP!!! Oh no! Zoe saw that movie with me, and she liked it! I failed my child. The world will no longer be good for her. No, no, no.

I had to make this right, I thought. So before bed, I prepared a serious talk in my head to tell her about villains and heroines. I thought I could use Maleficent to teach her healthier ways to channel her anger if she ever does become a woman scorned. Oh, dear, here we go again with the relentless lesson planning. 

"Zoe, remember the movie Maleficent with that actress Angelina Jolie?" I asked her.

Deep sigh. "Yes." She could detect a long, serious talk from miles away, and she was trying desperately not to let me catch her roll her eyes. 

"Well, in Sleeping Beauty, Maleficent is evil, but in this movie, they show a very different side of her..."

"I know, Mom," she interrupted. 

Okay, at this point, she wasn't going to allow me to ask her a million questions, especially that she was already dozing off. 

So I narrowed it down to one question: "Well, why did you like that movie so much?"

I feared that there could be an underlying cause for her to be rooting for evil. Have I failed to preserve her innocence? Is she so cynical at such a young age already? What is it?

"Because it's a good story."

Oh. Well then maybe a movie is just a movie, and an actress is just an actress and my question wasn't all that important, but I had to ask. When it has to do with my child, though, it's important.

Secret to Success: Talent or Work Ethics?

I complimented a gifted young 7th grader the other day on his work ethics forgetting that he was only 12 and may not know what the term “work ethics” really mean.

I asked him if he did, and his response was, “Yeah, it means not playing around in the computer and actually getting stuff done.”

Yup. That pretty much sums it up for 7th graders and the working class citizens. In a room full of gifted learners, though, “getting stuff done” may not quite be that simple. I’ve encountered enough learners in my teaching experience to make an observation that many gifted learners already know they’re gifted, but they don’t quite know what to do with their “giftedness.” Then there are others who think that the label itself will give them a free pass to a successful future because they surpassed benchmark goals, they have been praised for exceeding expectations, and they often do get stuff done quickly and accurately.

This is where the behavior issues arise. In order to instill work ethics in these young adults, they must first need to be aware that these are tangible values that actually matter even if “it’s not for a grade.”

The message is not so much to have students “work hard to be successful,” but instead instill a set of values in them that is crucial in the development of self-sustaining communities.

In guiding learners through their independent research projects, reminding them to keep reading, writing, and taking notes is not enough. Everyday, I hold small group conferences with them to answer essential questions to make their learning more useful and progressive. Real-time learning is in the academic conversations they have among each other, and in the questions they pose to challenge each other. These conversations show them that no, they don’t know everything yet because they couldn’t possibly anticipate all kinds of questions that may be brought up, but yes, be prepared to live in a world where problem-solving must be done in real time.

Today we explored this question:

Which characteristic leads to more success: talent (giftedness) or work ethics? Explain.

·         “Definitely work ethics because you could have a lot of talent but be so lazy that people don’t even realize you’re talented.”

·         “I think work ethics leads to more success because singers can have talent, but they wouldn’t be successful if they didn’t work hard.”

·         “Talent is a more important characteristic because you can learn work ethics, but if you don’t have the talent, you can’t learn it.”

·         “Work ethics are more important because without it, talent won’t make much of a difference.”

·         “You’ll do better than people who rely on talent alone if you have work ethics.”

·         “Talent is a better characteristic that will most likely lead to success because even if you don’t have good work ethics, you can still do the same project at the very last minute and make it look good.”

·         “Both are equally important because without talent what’s the point? You won’t be good at it. If you don’t have work ethics, then you don’t give proper image as a worker.”

·         “Talent and work ethics combined both add to the level of success a person has. The more work ethics and the more talent a person has, the more successful he can be. If you don’t have talent in a chosen field, and you’re not inspired to work hard to learn, then it’s not for you. You won’t get there.”

Surprisingly, the majority of my gifted learners agree that “hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard,” but they still have so much to learn about work. It’s not just about the outcome nor the reward, but the process and the collaboration. How can we improve our learning communities within the young adult population?

High School Seniors Give Advice to 8th Graders Class of 2018

1. Get involved and stay involved all four years! High school isn’t fun when you’re watching from the sidelines.
2. Make sure you join as many clubs and organizations because it’s easier to make friends and find your interests. Don’t be afraid to try new things.
3. If you plan on going to college, all four years of high school count! Never give up on your grades no matter how difficult it may seem.
4. Don’t screw up. When I was a freshman, I didn’t care about high school. I skipped, played around, and didn’t really care. About the time when I was a junior, I started to realize the importance of taking your education seriously. And MAKE SURE to take honors classes!
5. Don’t skip and keep your grades up.
6. Do your work. Don’t slack off.
7. Don’t procrastinate. You will regret it if it becomes a habit.
8. You’re not cool.
9. Dear Incoming Freshmen: In high school, get involved in your extracurricular activities. You will make lots of friends and memories.
10. DO NOT SLACK OFF! Try your best from the start, or you will regret it.
11. Don’t skip!! You’ll regret it.
12. Don’t skip and get good grades!
13. If you make friends with upper classmen, be prepared to see them move on when they graduate and leave you behind while you still have one more year until you leave, too.

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What Young Adults Actually Want to Learn from the "Real" Adults

If you had the opportunity to tell adults the skills you want to learn from them that would positively affect the future, what would they be?

1. How to pay bills and mortgage and do taxes
2. How to overcome hard times in life
3. How to drive and fix cars
4. How to write a resume
5. How to get a good job
6. How to raise a family
7. How to act at work
8. Keeping calm and being patient
9. How to handle the world
10. How to make money, get money, and spend money
11. How to be mature and have manners so I can respect myself and others
12. How to learn from mistakes
13. How to cook and organize
14. How to stay awake all day
15. How to handle social awkwardness
16. How to expand my vocabulary to speak in a professional manner
17. Advance level “work with what you have and make it work” skills
18. How to learn foreign languages
19. How to be fearless
20. How to avoid procrastination
21. How to avoid fighting with my twin brother
22. How to compromise with people
23. How to eat properly
24. How to memorize things
25. How to have common sense
26. How to make money without working
27. How to deal with idiots in the world
28. How to enjoy life to the fullest
29. How to build a jet pack
30. How to get really tall
31. How to write a song
32. How to ignore people and be serious
33. How to do work without complaining
34. Fitness skills
35. Trustworthiness
36. How to have manners
37. How to accept others
38. Unconditional love
39. How to be mature
40. How to complete work on time so that I don’t get fired

Introduction to The Trial of Socrates for English I/Humanities

Step 1:Read these links and get background information on his life, trial, and death. Take notes from each website link to show evidence of your online research as Exit Ticket. Notes should include the web site names. 

http://greece.mrdonn.org/socrates.html

http://content.time.com/time/specials/packages/article/0,28804,2064099_2064107_2064116,00.html

http://law2.umkc.edu/faculty/projects/ftrials/socrates/socratesaccount.html

Step 2: Go to Mrs. Pulido's Virtual Socratic Seminar, read some of the excerpts of the blog post about protest, and answer the original EQ with a much more educated opinion and response.

You may also engage in civilized and polite discussions among your peers. Be sure to write only your first names (no nicknames). Respond to at least three students' comments. 

Step 3: In groups of 3 not more than 4, select one of the following problems, get together and come up with a solution. Here are your directions:

In a group, discuss the problem and arrive at a solution. Choose someone to listen and record the group’s thinking processes and star which thinking processes were most useful. The teacher will give time to report the group’s solution and will also give the recorder time to relate the group’s thinking processes. These problems are not trick problems, but all have a rational solution. So when the group has a/the answer, send the recorder to check with the teacher.

Problem 1: Elsie was planning to go away for about a month. She wrapped her good jewelry in a blanked and put it in her self- cleaning oven. Why?

Problem 2: “this is a CD player,” said the electronics store salesman to an old woman. “It gives excellent sound because the signal is recorded digitally. Each individual tone is especially encoded so you won’t hear any background noise. The music sounds the same as when it was recorded every time it’s played”

            “Is that so!” she exclaimed.

            “Yes, it’s relatively new,” he continued. “Until a few years ago, all recordings were analog. They picked up background noise and sounded worse the more they were played. “

            “Nonsense!” she retorted. “If digital recordings are what you say they are, I’ve been using them since I was a little girl.”

Explain how her statement is true.

Problem 3: A shipping clerk needed to send a piece of heavy machinery to a customer and preferred using a trucking firm that was both cheap and dependable. Unfortunately, the trucking company had a 75-pound limit per package. The machinery, packed for shipment, weighted 77 pounds and could not be easily disassembled for two separate packages. How did the clerk solve the problem?

Problem 4:  The back door of the house had a simple lock, and the burglar had no difficulty opening it. Doing so, however, he tripped an alarm. The burglar quickly jumped clear of the house and ran as fast as he could making a successful escape. At first the homeowners were pleased that their alarm system had apparently averted a theft, but when they investigated it was quickly noticed that small valuables were missing from each of several rooms in the house. Explain.

Problem 5: Two people entered the woods for a walk. Later, two people left the woods. No one else had been in the woods when the two entered, and no one entered the woods while the two were walking. Nevertheless, one of the two people who left the woods was soon on the telephone talking about a third person in the woods. Explain.

Problem 6:  “I’ve discovered a universal solvent,” says a scientist.

            “What do you mean?” you ask.

            “Just what I said. Everything it touches dissolves and becomes part of it,” replies the scientist.

            “Nonsense! If it does what you say, what would you possibly keep it in?” you retort.

What does he keep it in?

Problem 7: Louis and Lucy were in their basement working on the household wiring. “We need a 20 ft extension cord,” said Louis. He unwound twenty feet of 2-conductor 16-gauge wire from a spool and cut off the right length. He stripped the insulation from both ends. After handing one end to Lucy he took a plug and fastened it to his end. Lucy worked on the other end. “Ready?” Louis asked.

            “Yes,” answered Lucy.

            “Let’s plug it in and test it,” said Louis, putting the plug into an outlet that was connected to a wall switch. As soon as Louis flipped the wall switch, a circuit breaker tripped. What was wrong?

Problem 8: Bill and Jill were getting hungry. Deciding to eat, they got out a container of several eggs.

“Which of these eggs is hard-boiled?” asked Bill. “I don’t see X’s marked on any of them.”

            “I didn’t bother doing that,” replied Jill. “After all, if an egg spins easily, it is hard-boiled. If it wobbles a little, then it’s raw.”

            “That’s true, but that doesn’t’ help us now!” Bill said, exasperated. Why?

15 Things My Students Would Rather Do Than Write an Essay

If you could have it your way, how would you show what you learned?

1. “I would say what I learned in a video.”
2. “I would draw it.”
3.  "I would write a poem about it, but I wouldn't necessarily perform it in front of everyone."
4. “Stop-mation – animation with legos.”
5. “I would debate an issue about it.”
6. “I would write a cool play with some other guys in class talking about what we learned along with some slapstick comedy.”
7. “I guess I wouldn’t do anything different from what I do in school. I’d just write the essays assigned to me and do the book reports because everything else is too much work.”
8. “I would do a cool project, like make a movie.”
9. “I’d want to be in the  movie as an actress because I could show how I understand the situation.”
10. “The way I would show what I learned would probably be in the simplest way: talk about it.”
11. “If I had it my way, I would bring a guitar and sing the blues about it.”
12. “I would dance to the blues if she brings her guitar.”
13. “I’d sing the blues with them.”
14. “I’d show it through photography.”
15. "I would do nothing. I hate school. It's like a prison. But with friends."

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