Surviving Middle School: A Practical Guide from 8th Graders

8th graders respond to this question:
"What advice would you give to incoming 6th graders about surviving middle school years?"

• “Don’t cuss. It’s not cool.”
• “Don’t carry a binder with a strap. It’s nerdy.”
• “It’s going to be tough, so be strong.”
• “Don’t wear makeup.”
• “Really just forget about trying to be popular.”
• “Be prepared to hate a lot of people, but cope with them.”
• “Don’t go to ISS (in school suspension). It’s not cool, either.”
• “As cliché as it might sound, just try and be your normal self.”
• “Stay away from the wrong crowd.”
• “Actually try working in school.”
• “Don’t remediate everything all at once at the end of the six weeks grading period.”
• “Go to tutoring.”
• Get on the teachers’ good side in the first semester, so they can be more lenient with you during the second semester.”
• “Stay focused on your grades and don’t get distracted with all the new extracurricular activities offered to you. If you don’t keep your grades up, you’ll be kicked out of the activities.”
• “Don’t go to the 8th grade hallway.”
• “Keep a low profile and prepare to lose your social life for the first few weeks.”
• “Middle school is not as scary as it seems. Just do your work.”
• “Don’t procrastinate and stay organized.”
• “Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.”

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Middle School Students Tell Me What They Value Most in Life: Passion, Happiness, Inspiration

As a bellringer exercise this morning, I gave each of my students a sticky note to jot down what they valued most in life. I told them that this was not a writing assignment, but they still had to write something down; it wasn’t anything required for a grade. I said I just wanted to learn from them because sometimes adults need kids to keep them grounded on what’s important. While I typically get the usual eye rolling and the whiny complaints about writing, it didn’t happen today. They were very eager to complete this task. I was forthcoming about my request, so in return, they were receptive to share with me.

This is what they told me:

• ·         “What I value most in life is my passion: singing, playing guitar, and God. I feel like all of these things make me very happy no matter what.”
• ·         “Pencils. I value pencils the most because they can be used to express a person’s pain through methods that don’t hurt anyone, such as drawing or writing.”
• ·         “It’s hard to admit this, but I value money because we don’t have much of it. I feel like if we had more money, our lives would be easier.”
• ·         “I value happiness the most because you could be the richest person in the world but still be miserable. When you choose to live happily, you make your life worth it and meaningful.”
• ·         “Passion is most important because it leads to success and happiness.”
• ·          “I value my mom and my friend. Centering myself around my mom is important to me especially after my dad died because I realized that I had to appreciate what I currently have.”
• ·         “I value inspiration the most in life because I like something new to look forward to and to be inspired differently each day.”
• ·         “I value my dad. My dad has done so much for me, and he has been so supportive. I am so thankful for him.”
• ·         “I value happiness because if you’re always gloomy, mad, or sad, you’re never going to get anywhere in life.”
• ·         “I value fairness because just about everything in life isn’t fair. It’s always biased, but I want to change that.”
• ·         “I value my ability to make people laugh.”
• ·         “I value my culture the most because it defines me.”
• ·         “I value every single thing in my life. The people that have been part of my life have inspired me to be who I am.  My coaches push me and made me realize how valuable my passion and goals are.”

From the wise words of a 13 year old, he says this about his values: “In life, I value the sense of value the most. It doesn’t matter what I value at the time because for most humans, their values change from day to day. I value simply the knowledge that I value something, the idea that I have a goal in life.  For me, having values means you are an individual.”

Indeed.

My favorite moment after this bellringer exercise? No whining after I did assign them a checklist of ten different reading and writing tasks to complete before submitting their final passage analysis essay by Friday. 

Why Hire a Private Music Instructor When There's YouTube?

In our experience, most parents don't know why they want to hire a private music instructor. We have been fortunate enough to teach children of parents who simply want their children to learn and apply with a higher level of knowledge. We do this by showing them discipline and self-respect. By discipline, we don't mean scaring them into practicing their scales for hours on end, but by developing the inherent motivation to listen (to music, to lectures, to adults, etc), to understand, and to communicate. How do we do that? We talk to them. We listen to them. We get to know them. We develop their interests. We inspire them.

This requires a conscious understanding and commitment between all parties involved: parents, students, and instructors communicate what they are experiencing together at that particular moment. It's hard to capture that synergy on YouTube.

As instructors, we communicate rather than administrate. This conscious commitment and understanding has achieved desired behavior outcome for our students. We have yet to come across a family whose goal is to have their child to join an orchestra or a prestigious musical group. However, they are secure in knowing that they could follow that path if they wanted to based on what they have learned. If you are a parent or adult in search of an instructor ask yourself why? If it's because you want to turn your dinner party into an endless recital of the current popular songs, then by all means use YouTube. If you want them to learn and apply with a higher level of knowledge, then find a good instructor. Learn more:
Why Hire A Music Instructor For Private Lessons

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What I Learned From My 8th Graders About Discrimination

“There will always be discrimination everywhere about everything because pointing out others’ differences masks people’s own insecurities.” -8^th grade girl

The intensity of the themes in To Kill a Mockingbird can get pretty tough to handle when you’re reading it for the first time at 13 or 14 years old. This is why teaching the historical context is so important in order for our young adult readers to gain a better understanding of the novel. I was surprised, though, that I was the one who got a lesson about discrimination from an 8^th grader’s perspective. These kids have such strong voices that need to be heard. This is why I’m sharing this teaching/learning experience with all of you.

One of the corresponding lessons in TKAM is learning about Black Tuesday, the Great Depression, the Dust Storm, and Jim Crow laws. We read a selection in our textbook about a list of segregation laws and how they were enforced. After reading, we discussed some issues that could help us connect how different characters in the novel may have felt during this time period. I thought some of their responses were insightful. It made me think of looking at the world through their eyes, so I asked a few critical thinking questions about their own views on discrimination. A couple of questions brought some very interesting responses.

1.       Do you feel there is discrimination at our school? In what ways?

2.       What has your experience with discrimination been? How has it made you feel?

• ·          “I’m an athlete and in GT (Gifted and Talented – advanced level) classes. People think I suck at sports since they assume I’m a nerd.”
• ·         “Just because I’m white, people automatically assume I’m wealthy.”
• ·         “Some people think that all Muslims are terrorists. It upsets me because I wear the hijab, and some people judge us from that one thing.”
• ·         “My personal experience with discrimination has to do with my race. I am Mexican, but have light skin, freckles, and I don’t speak Spanish. Many of the Hispanic students (and adults, too) say that I’m not a ‘true Mexican.’”
• ·         “Some students think I’m the smartest person in class because I’m Asian, but I’m really not that smart.”
• ·          “I have been discriminated against based on my sexual identity, musical choices, intelligence level, and favorite hobbies.”
• ·         “I have been discriminated against when I went through a voice change in 6^th grade. People made fun of my high voice. Now I’m the choir manager for my Advanced Choir group.”

·        This one is a personal favorite of mine:

“There will always be discrimination everywhere about everything because pointing out others’ differences masks people’s own insecurities.”

This girl is so right! Discrimination exists because people believe they are superior to others. Not only that, but it’s obvious to this young teen that narrow mindedness prevents any progress to the development of positive social change.  

What this girl said about discrimination really embraces one of the major themes in the novel. It even sounds like what Scout would say reflecting on how her father would pass on his moral values to her:
 “Atticus was right. One time he said you never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them.” ~To Kill a Mockingbird

Thank you, my dear GT 8th graders in English I, for teaching me what it truly means to "stand in borrowed shoes."

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Everyone's a Writer!

Have a story idea you want to write? Ready to live this month in reckless literary abandon? Join me and participate in National Novel Writing Month! Endless resources for writers and educators with tips, workbooks, inspiration, and a great community of literary arts enthusiasts. There are also listings of event information about NaNoWriMo if you are craving for human interaction when writing. All kinds of writers meet at local libraries, bookstores, coffee shops, etc.

Feel like you don't have time to accomplish 50,000 words in a month, but you know you have a phenomenal best-selling, change-the-world type of idea? That's totally okay if you can't participate in NaNoWriMo this year, but what's not okay is to lose the ideas! Jot them down. Lots of prewriting and brainstorming tips if you follow my fan page. You have something to say. It's worth writing them down for yourself.

Happy writing, everyone!

National Novel Writing Month Challenge: 50K Words in a Month!

This is the marathon of writing! Hello there, NaNoWriMo! Throw down 50K words with reckless literary abandon and get to the finish line. I'm going to do it. Why? Because I've done it before during the craziest time of my life, and it just seems fitting that I should do it again. Here's the sypnopsis:

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LOOP 12 (Book #2 To Exit Renner series)

The sequel to Exit Renner, this novel takes readers on a journey to Otherwordliness with yet another transverse traveler looking for answers. Ghost Girl, who died in a car crash while driving to work, must travel through transverse planes to arrive at her "Rest in Peace" destination. But she is lost and distracted, still longing for something in this world that she has not yet quite understood.

From the few moments leading to her death to her afterlife, she encounters The Wanderer, an attractive free spirit in his midtwenties who was born from a wealthy family, but disdains materialism. The Wanderer, much to his family's disapproval, abandons everything to travel the world aimlessly with the hopes of finding the truth about anything. He has no written agenda. No set plans. Hardly any money now that he has given it all away, but he sets out to be content with his guitar on hand.

Instead of finding her own path, Ghost Girl follows The Wanderer's aimless roaming around the world. This is a classic tale of unrequited love, but she's dead, and he's still alive. Ghost Girl spends most of her energy sending him otherwordly messages to attract his attention. The trouble is that he doesn't seem to be receiving the message as truth. He continues to disregard them only as dreams or his imagination. No matter what part of the world he travels, he is stuck in a place where reality and illusion are always at play against each other.

Ghost Girl's husband, The Widower, is a misplaced soul. He is often misunderstood in a world bombarded with societal norms. He is left to raise two children, a boy and a girl, with very little resources. The girl shows signs of becoming an Outlier, an extremely successful person. After the death of her mother, The Prodigy develops a type of superpower in which her thoughts are manifested into reality. The Prodigy then vows revenge upon her mother's aunt, The Self Serving Shrew. As she plots the revenge, she then sees something beyond the ordinary. Discovering layers of truth hidden from her family's past, she soon realizes the real power she possesses that deeply connects her to her mother, Ghost Girl.

This is a tale of how the human condition navigates through heartbreak, relationships, tragedies, and accomplishments all the while conditioning themselves to balance their own minds that drift from subconsciousness to consciousness.

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To the Parents of My Former Students

Dear Parents,

You may have a son or daughter starting his/her freshman year of college this fall, or a child who finished 3rd, 4th, or 5th grade last semester adjusting to a different teacher when I left for a new job in public school midyear. You may have sent your son or daughter to the Irving Arts summer art camp where I was the writing instructor, or you may be a homeschooling parent who sent your child to one of my own creative writing camps at home. I just want to tell you something: I've been thinking of you. 

I remember the emails, the questions (endless questions), the conferences, the homework, the candid conversations, and yes, even the petty arguments (let's just call them disagreements) about these silly things called the "reading log" or the "math facts." Ugh. I'm sorry. If I had your child in my class during the early part of my teaching career, I'm sorry for all the homework I sent home in 4th grade. Why didn't I listen to you?!?

But this isn't an apology letter. This is a thank you letter. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to teach your children. Seriously. As much as I whine and stress about the prep time (every year, every class, whether it is for school or for camp, I sing the same whiny song - just ask my husband), I  remember just how much of a privilege it is to be able to see growth happen in front of me, and I take pride in it. I can say, "I helped that kid somehow. That's my work." Always in progress.

That picture you posted on Facebook of your sweet son with his cap, gown, and diploma? I wish him the very best. It is my hope that he accomplishes whatever he wants to do. The heartache you felt when you watched your daughter pack up boxes in her room to move into her dorm? There was a lump in my throat, too. That really amazing poem she wrote that got published? I was a crying mess! And don't even get me started about her commencement speech during her 8th grade graduation.

I am so completely amazed at the accomplishments that just keep coming. Are these really the same 3rd or 4th grade kids? The very same ones who may have picked their noses in class even if they thought nobody was looking (I won't name names, but they know who they are), the ones who freaked out because they stapled their vocabulary foldables on the wrong side of the paper, and the ones who silently recited a prayer called "Please, God, Help Me Remember My Multiplication Facts" before taking their Math Facts tests? Now they're doing really amazing, grown up things like driving, working their part-time jobs while keeping a full time student workload, doing their own laundry (I hope), traveling without their parents, and doing service oriented activities because they want to give back to the community. Those are my kids!!!

The best part about you being their parents is that you've kept in touch with me after all these years. You allowed your kids to keep in touch with me. Heck, you even allowed them to go to my house and babysit my little girl for a fraction of the cost of a regular babysitting gig just so I can have a nice date with my hubby. You continued to share your kids' lives with me. You supported me when I dreamed of publishing my children's books. You tuned in to watch me, excited and thrilled, when my 15 minutes of fame on NBC 5 happened. You came to my book signing with your kids, proud to show me how they've grown up to be the young adults I want my own children to become one day. You came back to show me. I'm grateful for that.You encouraged me. You took the time to tell me that I was doing it right. I needed to build that confidence to be the bold and brave teacher the kids need me to be to keep them engaged.

I want to thank you for sharing those wonderful moments. Remembering them really keeps me going. This is why I've been thinking of you lately. Please think of me, too, as I prepare for this new school year in my new school. I've only just completed one semester, but I really want to get to know the kids the very same way I got to know yours. Remind me to think about the important things. Remind me that I'm doing something that helps.

Love,
Mrs. Pulido



Photo by: Sov Chiv. Two of my original 3rd graders now college freshmen.
They just recently returned from a summer trip to Brazil for World Youth Day.
 Left: Jenna H. Right: Alex P. Middle: One of my favorite moms, Justine.